a useless son

Yes. A useless son - That's what i am.

Other sons could provide well for their family. They make sure everyone's healthy and happy. I envy them. People often asked me where i would be holidaying that year. As always, i would smile and reply that i won't be holidaying any time soon. How i wished i could bring my mum and dad out. Even a trip to the shopping mall would suffice. How i wished i could be just one of the children with happy families.

Bowling used to be my only solace. When i'm feeling down or stressed out, i would make my way down to the bowling alley for a few games. Alone. Not now. Everyone seems to be happy in the bowling alley. I see daughters bowling with their dads. I see family outings at the bowling alley. I see couples having fun as well. And i see myself alone there.

My dad used to be very healthy. He didn't fall sick very often. Probably a more accurate statement should be that he falls sick only once in a blue moon. But recently, he has been catching colds and running fevers so very often. It worries me.

How i wished i could tell my dad that he could very well retire the next day. But i know he wouldn't. He has always been a model closest to the Enlightened One. He, who taught me what was right and wrong. He whom i can always seek for advice.

I've been feeling weak these days as well. I wonder when my days will be up. But i pray to the heavens to permit my health and longevity. At least allow me to fulfil my obligation as a filial son.