one big burden upon my shoulders

I need a stress ball...No, make it two....Two BIG ones. No buns, i mean, no pun intended. Literally, that is.
Exams over, and i don't really have a stressful temporary job right now. I'm still girlfriendless (No, being girlfriendless DOES NOT contribute nor does it have any effect on my stress level). Well, i 'd just realised what is really giving me lots of pressure and stress. It's my MUM! Yes, it's her! She's one BIG f**king problem in my life!
People might say or see me as an unfilial son or an ungrateful brat for my remarks, but hey, before you start calling me one, maybe you should come over my place and experience a week's of torment first. I've said before, or at least made known before that my mum's a mentally unstable and in need of major psychiatric treatment.

People who know me well should have realised that i DON"T like staying at home. I HATE listening to my mother's voice. Have you ever been in the bus or train when two fat aunties, both of whom obviously have listening problems, start chatting with one another at the top of their voices? That's what? At most an hour and a half? Now, imagine your mum speaks non-stop to "herself" at that volume. Non-stop meaning as long as you aren't at home. Crap that generally comes out of her mouth goes like this...Argh...forget it....it's as nonsensical as much as you think it is...Mmm...Maybe i should record it in MIDI form and attach to my blog so that everyone can empathise with me..Or maybe not...Can't really gauge how big a file for a 24-hour MIDI file is....

As i was saying, she's the only MAJOR factor that contributes to my "stress". Colleagues would often advise that i should put her in a mental institute. At least she'll be taking proper medication there. At least there is a chance of recovery. Well, the decision lies with my Dad, not me. Apparently, he has an extremely high level of tolerance. Sometime's i can't help but feel that i was born to be tormented by her. Karma? Retribution? Maybe. Most people don't realise how difficult it is to live with a mental patient. Believe me, you would rather be with someone who is physically sick but mentally normal.

Don't ever ask me how and when my Mum turned out in her current state. I have no idea either. I don't really care. I just want her to recover so all of us can lead our normal lives again.

Usually, i don't really like writing so much on my Mum. But again, she did p*ssed me off a while ago. I'd came back from work at about 8.30pm only to realise my room's been gassed. Gassed by Shieldtox. Don't know whether the spelling's correct but in case you don't know, it's insecticide. Those that come in cans and then you start spraying those pesky pests dead with? My room's so poorly ventilated and SHE closed my windows and left the fan off = Gases stay in the room waiting for me to breathe them in and die. It's like 3 hours later now, and my room still smells the same. I'm so f**king sleepy after a day's work and i really want to sleep. Can't i at least sleep on my bed IN my room?

p.s. If i really die on my bed in my room tonight, you'd know what killed me.

pictures, pictures and more pictures!

Still in Golden Mile Complex: Minutes before the ordealing 12-hour journey.

At the jetty, finally. 

With Myo on the ferry. 

Beautiful, isn't it? 

Paradise. 

Our resort. 

Look at the blue, blue waters. 

Frolicking on the white sandy beach. 

Esctatic Tay Zar. 

Snorkel gear on. 

Snorkel gear off! 

Thi Ha the Tram Driver. 

Alex and Manata. 

Sunrise. 

my trip continued

10 May 2005
We finally reached Kuala Terengganu at about 9am, upon which we were dropped off at the jetty. Well, the jetty wasn't what we had expected. It wasn't the Sentosa type with a grand facade. It was more to the Changi jetty type (where one would catch a boat to Pulau Ubin). There was quite a number of people at the holding area. Our eyes, needless to say, began roving around. What more can 6 guys do but to admire and envy our fellow brothers amidst their bevy of beauties. As we soon realised, most of the people going to Redang were Malaysians which we deducted from their accent and speech. We felt isloated.

Reached Laguna Resort slightly before noon. The white sandy beach which broke into crystal clear blue waters was the very, very first image that caught us off-guarded. Well, the brochures and pamphlets did tell of white sandy beaches and clear blue waters, and we had thought then that it was nothing but pure marketing makeover. But this was TRUE. One would have to experience this himself. Com'on....One could literally see fishes swimming in the crystal clear shallow waters!

The rooms of Laguna was GREAT! The air-conditioning was so damn cool ( My home isn't air-conditioned, remember?). The rooms were spacious, considering that we had been assigned one of the worst ones (The ones at the very end of the resort with no inhabitants nearby and nothing much to see :)). Nothing much on telly. But it was quite comfy, nonetheless.

The food there, unfortunately, was so f**king terrible. It wasn't surprising for the fact that all meals were included in the package were provided FOC and in buffet-style. Well, it did fill our stomachs and that was all that mattered.

We were supposed to be given three free snorkelling trips. Well, apparently the free trips did not include the snorkelling equipment. It wasn't too expensive either. It costed just RM25 to rent those equipment for 2 days. Well, the first trip was supposed to be today, but the whole lot of us missed it! No one really told us what to do on the island; it's up to one to explore and ask. There's at least one cute babe at the Recreation centre. Really cute babe....

As we couldn't join the first snorkelling trip cos we WERE LATE, we rented the eqiupment ourselves and took off to the beach (The nice guy at the Recreation centre told us where the good spots were). If you have never gone snorkelling before, my advice to you is to TRY IT! I can't swim but there's always the lifejacket. I can also safely tell you that there are goddamn so many fishes even in chest deep waters! There wasn't a need to venture far out into the sea. These fishes stay close to the corals and these corals exists close to the shores.

It was really an exhilarating experience for a non-swimmer like me. Myo couldn't swim as well; but i'm very sure he was as amazed and excited as i was at that time. As the guys would ask me while we were snorkelling whether i regretted my decision to visit Redang, i can safely tell them now that such fun is hard to come by.

Nightlife wasn't too bad either. There was KTV and beer- drinking and card-playing sessions back in our rooms.

11 May 2005
Knowing that today's the last day we could have fun on the island ( We have to check out at 7.45am tomorrow), we had planned to wake up early to catch the sunrise. However, apparently the sun woke up before us. We did managed to attend the second snorkelling trip today. We were taken in a ferry to another dive site and as usual, given about 2 hours to swim and enjoy. Before long, we were back in Redang. While the guys said they were tired and went back to take a nap (It was roughly before lunch time....Sleep?!?! ), Alex and i went to do further snorkelling. Tay Zar joined us after we insisted that he be our underwater cameraman. We bought a disposable underwater camera and took lots of pictures. And hey, Alex and i saw baby sharks!

Intended to go jungle-trekking. However, Cute Girl from Recreation centre said the rain the night before rendered the tracks slippery. As such, there wouldn't be jungle-trekking. Last time i saw Cute Girl.

Went shopping at night. Bought T-shirts, souveniors and more beer. Slept early tonight cos have to wake up early tomorrow to check out.

12 May 2005
Woke up early today in time to catch the sun rise. However this time the sun was a little shy. Hid behind the clouds. Gave up.

Breakfast and goodbye to Redang.
Another 12 hour journey back to Singapore. But this time it was more enjoyable. A cute girl was sitting in front of me ^^
Reached home at about 10.30pm, unpacked, showered and slept. (Really missed the air-con)

13 May 2005

Went to the office to collect my uniform. I'm starting work on Sunday. Will be working in DFS Scottswalk as a CRA. CRA = Customer Relations Assistant. Also cut my locks today..Work commitment.


*End of Summary*

p.s. Friends and i took lots of pictures in Redang. Though, they back in their home country. I'm too poor to afford a digital camera so i left with hardcopies and negatives. Contact me if you want to take a look at my pictures. ^^

why the long wait?

If you have been keeping up with my blog, you would have realised that i haven't been logging any entries in the past few days....*GAsps*...in the past few weeks, actually...Well, i regret to say i'm losing interest in BLOGGING.

LOSING INTEREST IN BLOGGING?!?!

Nah, i would never do that. my little diary is probably the only place i could pen my thoughts to. I'm still girlfriendless you see. Why the lag then?

Well, as you have have inferred or might have known, i did finish my last paper on the 3rd of May. After which i took a few days of "recuperative break" before i departed from Singapore. (Singapore, not Mother Earth) To where?
To Rendang Island. And where the hell is this Redang Island? (Sounds like some food paradise, doesn't it?) It's actually an island off Kuala Terengganu in Malaysia. And what does one do there? Well, see fishes.

Yes, see F-I-S-H-E-S. It's one big snorkelling and scuba-diving paradise in Redang. Well, for one, i'm not a swimmer. I drown. But the temptation of seeing beautiful fishes swimming amongst was too great to resist. Any way, snorkelling, as i found out, is relatively safe for non-swimmers like me.

Well, here's a little summary of days that i would really love to blog but couldn't:

3rd May 2005
Just came home from school. It's about 9.30pm now. Should have been happier since i'd just finished my very last paper, meaning it's all play and no work until school re-opens in August. However, this wasn't the case. I think i'm gonna flunk this one. Hopefully not. Don't really feel like blogging tonight.
*Disheartened*

4th - 7th May 2005
There's nothing much to do actually. Kinda missed those days in the library...Actually, maybe not...Just missed my belle from the library that's all.....Might never see her again....

8th May 2005
Went shopping today. Yes, shopping for my trip tomorrow! Yeah...Just a few hours more before leaving Singapore. VERY VERY excited!

9th May 2005
The day finally came. Met up with the guys at about 7.55pm to have dinner. Boarded the coach at about 10pm. Got my new passport stamped for the first time! Before 11pm, we were already in MALAYSIA! well, we were told that the entire journey the K.Terengganu takes about 9 hours and that there would be about 3 pit-stops in all. Quite discouraging for the fact that we had to control our water intake. As such we drank as little as possible. There wasn't much to do in the bus except to take naps and stare wide-eyed at the darkness outside.
We soon realised that the expected 9 hour wasn't inclusive of the pit-stop breaks. In all, the length of time needed to travel from Singapore to K.Terengganu took 12 hours. I made a point NOT TO EVER TRAVEL BY COACH if the entire journey takes more than 6 hrs even if it is CHEAP. It isn't worth it since you are wasting time on travelling to your destination. Wasting time means that the entire travel package is worth3 days and 2 nights but you had already spent about half of this duration on senseless naps in the coach w/o a toilet.

1oth May 2005
(To be continued...)

relieved

Finally, after 3 weeks of laborous studying and scribbling anwsers on examination sheets, it's over!
Com'on i mean EXAMS OVER!
Well, it was over on the 3rd actually. Was just sick and tired of writing and thinking after my exams, i guess...Hence the late entry.

Initially i had thought that this semster's gonna be smooth sailing...At least it was before my last paper.

I had always HATED maths. For a start, maths is one BORING subject i tell you. Maybe not for the Chinese students, but it definitely IRKS me. I read with displeasure a recent article in the papers. There was this highly rated scholar who wrote something racist in his BLOG and his BLOG became notoriously popular overnight. A media whore maybe...Well, as usual, he got off with it with a stern warning by the board and after he and his family expressed remorse...Yeah remorse my FOOT! Tell me you hate so and so today and i will love him like a brother tomorrow...Save all these pathetic calls for sympathy. And yes, he got away with it anyway. I sense him boasting to his fellow racist friends on how he got away with it. All these because he's a SCHOLAR. He should have know better, shouldn't he? Maybe he did too much maths and forgot his morals.

Well, the point here is that, i'm NOT going to write something racist in my BLOG cos i'm not a SCHOLAR. And i'm not going to get away with it like a SCHOLAR does. Unlike SCHOLARS who come from rich and well-to-do families, i live in a three room flat in Serangoon w/o air-con. How am i going to hire a lawyer if i were to be sued? So, as far as i'm concerned, i'd better play safe and type my stuff S A F E L Y.

As much as i disapprove certain mannerisms of the people from China, i DON'T hate them. I'm just a little uneasy, that's all. Half of my ancestry was from China, and i'm not going to start a tirade against my ancestors' children. I 'm a little pissed off because every now and then, i would hear my ancestors' children gossiping and bad-mouthing about my fellow countrymen. Right in my country. Let's put this straight. They are in MY country, using taxpapers' money someway or other, younger than most of us because they needn't protect MY country and here they are talking bad about MY country! And you expect my to love them like my own countrymen?

Often in the army after our last parade, we would sit down and chat heaven and earth. Probably, the all-time favorite topic was: If Singapore were to be attacked by some SOBs, would you stay and protect her with your life? The trend was that if you were living in an HDB flat, family income below $2,800, you would say yes. Yes i would protect her at all costs. Well, i was quite disappointed when i realised the more well-to-do usually said: "Protect for what? Surely die one...Better run away fast..." Yeah, obviously they could do that cos they own properties and their parents have a few companies there. The only consolation was that there were a very few of the well-to-do who said they who protect OUR country.

Okay, i've got a feeling i'm being too nationalist tonight. Mmm...maybe it was because of the show i watched last night. What did i watch?

Kingdom of Heaven.
It's a great one. You should watch it if you like LOTR and as such...