two and a half

Today was the last day of my vacation job. Mixed feelings engaged as in other lasts that one faced. Joy, for i now needn't face typically ugly tourists who scream and shout in my face; for now i needn't face the nonsensical accusations throw to me by them. Dismay, for now i would have to return to my books.

Two and a half months. That was the length of time i had spent in the shop. Friends made. Views broadened.

I have always told everyone i don't have many friends. As friendly and bickerish as i try to be, i am but one engulfed in solitude. Not because i am utterly afraid of making friends. More because i find myself unworthy of anyone's friendship. Just as i wouldn't want myself to be associated with certain people. I have always proceeded with my life alone. Whilst everyone would have former classmates being in the same class as them, i was all alone in polytechnic. History repeated itself when i was in the army. Then now again that i'm in unversity. Peers went for job interviews with company. I went alone.

Most of the time, i would revise in the school library till it closes. Alone. I picked up bowling because the sport didn't require somebody else to spar with. Just you and yourself. I have to say i love shopping and walking around. But they do not make me feel better. On the contrary, you see people in groups while you are lone. Add salt to the wound, some would say.

A ripple amidst my solitude. That is my display nick in Messenger today. I seldom receive presents. But in my two and a half months' vacation job, i have received presents after presents. I needn't have to think twice about feeling happy.

I am but a simple man. Simple things do make or break my day.

is twenty days that long?

It seemed just yesterday when i last updated my blog. How time flies when you're preoccupied with work or play...whichever! It has been twenty days since i last added an entry into my blog. Do i sound serious? Working in the customer service line does make one think before blurting crap out. Hell that...No one's gonna read my blog anymore if it sounds like some report- writing thingy you do in secondary or high school.

As i was saying, lots of stuff had happened since you last read my entry. Let's see....I had to choose my FYP, where FYP = Final Year Project. I had since been assigned one. Glad to know its one of my top choices. Well, then there was lots of lost nites over what i was gonna study this coming school-term. Sounds stupid? Hell is.

Studying in a university, in MY opinion, is akin to gambling. It used to be balloting, where balloting = blame it on your luck if you don't get chosen. Now, some genius thought of bidding, or auctioning in layman's terms. Consider bidding for modules somewhat like playing the stock market. You choose what modules or stocks you want to invest in after several sleepless nites. Next, you place your bets, carefully distributing your capital amongst your stocks. Then the round begins. You sit in front of the computer, eyes affixed on the screen, refreshing the webpage every now and then in order to capture the latest fluctuations.

Sometimes you win all, sometimes a trade-off. No one wants a complete crash.

It does pisses me off when you read prospectus and they boast of the diversity of courses and modules they have. Well, they're definitely honest about it. They just forgot to add small prints at the bottom of the page that says : Allocation of modules is not based on preference but the undergrad's luck.

Several times had i encountered modules which i was interested in. Modules which i would really like to study. But very often, either there are timetable clashes or i'm not lucky enough to successfully obtain these modules. As such, i spent the next semester doing stuff i didn't like. Pursue my dreams? Screw that, for i've taken modules that i would never had dreamed about.

One would have guessed i didn't get the modules i wanted this semester. Well, never assume, as i was told. I got all five but one module (Since the bidding round for this last one don't start until next week). Yes. Finally i can do something i want this semester. That is, of course, only if i'm able to land myself the final module.

Enough of school. It's still the holidays now. I had the chance to take a few pictures with my ex-colleagues days when they came down to the shop days ago. Pretty female colleagues! Sad to say, it's one hella-of-a-Beauty-meets-The-Beast scenario. I seldom smiled when i posed for pictures in the past. Now, i smile too much. Teeth showing. Oh my gosh, that guy's ME! What the F**K? Any beast in any Walt Disney film would have looked better and cuter than me. I'm one hella-of-an-F**King-ugly-beast. If any of you pretty colleagues are reading this, i just wanna say i'm sorry i've ruined the pictures you had posed with me.

life's a long run down the lone highway....without shoes

It does seem eons since i last logged in an article in my little diary. And i'm hella surprised that my counter's hit beyond the 200 mark. There ARE people reading my blog! Cheesy and corny as it sounds, THANK YOU for making my day!

Life's become unbearable. Very unbearable. As all of you might have known, i'm currently in the midst of my vacation job. Vacation job = Putting on a smile in face of an unreasonably whiner-hella-of-a-tourist. The Company should provide anger management or stress relieving sessions for Customer Service Personnels like us. To heat things up, there's always the i don't-want-to-see-things-lying -around-whiner-hella-of-a-boss. Work's unbearable. Returning home after work's worse.

My Mum's mentally sick. And believe me, you would rather have one whose got cancer than one whose boinkers. Think i'm too much? Even my Dad says that. She's practically screwing everybody's life up. She's made a police report on spousal abuse, she's visited all family service centres within 10 km radius, she's kept to her i-must-see-doctor routines 3 times weekly, she's told everyone she's treated worse than a maid...Everything, except to go seek treatment with a psychiatrist. Sue Townsend could have written about me rather than Adrian Mole.

She should be in a mental hospital. At least there's a chance of her getting better. At least everyone would have lived happier at home. She thinks she's a rich Tai-tai who needn't do household chores. Hell that. She seldom cooks, does the laundry and ironing only when she feels like it, damages all electrtical appliances at home including my modem and phone, spends $100+ on doctors every week even though she's not sick, spends $200+ on legal fees every month for changing her name, pawns jewellery only to claim them at a reduced price, speaks to herself morning till morning, loudly...And she claims she's worse than a maid! A maid would have done laundry and ironings, would have cooked, would not have spend money on redundancies, and most importantly, would have kept her mouth shut!

I totally get pissed off when a social worker calls me up. Hell them. Try living with my family for a month and i assure you will beg the Devil for solace.

Do i sound damn pissed right now? Hell i am. Probably, the only thing that accompanies me are my books. Due to extreme pressures in Life, i've recently turned to books to keep myself sane. Haha. Well, i used to do lots of reading when i was younger. Then i stopped because i couldn't really manage my time properly. (Plain excuse, isn't it?) But, i'm back with a vengence. I've just completed two books: that Da Vinci thingy and another, The Book, The Film and The T-shirt....something like that...am reading the Alchemist now. A pretty girl was reading one of Coelho's books and was telling me how good and inspirational his books were. I do need lots of inspiration to date chics like her i felt...Haha.

Poor as i am, i could not afford books. Libraries are one hella-of-a-place to borrow books which you are interested in. They're always loaned out. One just can't help but wonder if there's a conspiracy there. Maybe the Libraries had an agreement with major bookstores: Books are always loaned out so much so to the extent you're so damn pissed and impatient as you are, would have succumbed to the temptations of the major bookstores. Well, i didn't want to buy books cause i don't have a very big house. So, i rent them. Quite expensive though - about half the price of a brand new one.